We all wish our children shouldn’t smoke or drink, should not speak lies, should not steal, shouldn’t have a violent nature, etc… but they are we setting an example ourselves?
Just yesterday, I was at a friend’s place and his daughter came accumulating to us together with her school calendar and asked him to put a remark to be absent for school. They had been to a close relative’s wedding and my friend merely wrote “Stomach Pain” and signed the calendar. Aren’t you indirectly teaching the child that it is OK to lie? I have seen a lot of parents protecting the guilt of their children by lying, I’m wondering what’s going to occur to them when these children start lying for their parents themselves!
Smoking is an extremely bad habit and also you must avoid smoking, at least before children. When you smoke, your son or daughter watches your actions with great concentration after which even tries to imitate you. If you cannot leave the habit of smoking, go to the terrace / verandah and smoke. If you don’t have one, take a stroll and take your nicotine break there. If you have an extra room in your house, visit and don’t forget to shut / lock you. So what if your little one knows that you smoke? Don’t light up before him. If you are smoking as well as your child comes, extinguish your cigarette, even you’ve just started (if you are not a millionaire). Remember, passive smoking is just as dangerous for your child’s health. Don’t keep cigarettes available the home and always keep track of the amount of cigarettes you’ve (if you are a huge success). You wouldn’t want your missing cigarettes found in your son or daughter’s schoolbag, would you? Remember something in your lifetime – never ever ask your son or daughter to buy cigarettes for you, should you exhaust them. Should you choose, be be assured that your child will smoke, some day. You’re exposing him to all the varieties of cigarettes, the touch, feel and odor of it, the cigarette vendor’s marketing savvy and also the other smokers. If your children ask you regarding your smoking habit, also .. Tell them you need to do smoke and have accidently caught the habit. Don’t provide a reason for smoking (like you are stressed, etc) as some day you’re going to get an identical reason from him. Also simply tell him that you are trying to quit and genuinely try it out. Get an anti-smoking screensaver and do the installation on your PC. They come free should you search on Google.com. Wouldn’t your kids be happier if you lived a little longer?
The same goes for drinking. One important thing to remember – never get drunk in front of your kids. If you’re not inside your senses, you can speak or do something that you shouldn’t, before your kids. You can even cause physical or mental harm. If you MUST get drunk, go to a bar or confine yourself to a locked room. If your spouse is around, the greater.
Avoid using foul language before children. When i mentioned earlier, children try to imitate you. If you stumbled upon a reckless driver and let off steam be careful with your words. Your child is listening. Never use foul language together with your spouse and do not abuse him or her, a minimum of not in front of your children. I understand, everybody has their problems and wedded life (or other life) isn’t a bed of roses. But attempt to confine your fights for your bedroom and control the decibel level if you don’t possess a totally soundproof room. I have heard 3 year old children speaking the filthiest language, even when they probably don’t know what they’re speaking!
Never let go a child who stole something. Now, I am not saying that should you discovered that the child is stealing, jump on him or provide him a tight slap. Don’t even humiliate him with shame. But sternly explain him this isn’t right and make it crystal clear that it’s not permitted. If he has stolen from the store, go back with him and make him return the item. If it’s from soccer practice, lead him to return it to the teacher to prevent him from public shame. Explain to the teacher that you will be keeping track of him from repeating the act. Follow your promise religiously and keep a cheque on his possessions within his schoolbag, his cupboard, etc. Is there something he possesses that isn’t bought by you? If that’s the case, be firm in knowing where he got it from and insist upon returning it. Don’t accept lies too easily, its as if you’re condoning the theft. Keep in mind, don’t keep money available the house even if you have money to burn. Lead him to understand the worth of money. Maintain a limit on pocket money and encourage him to save. It is also time to think when the child needs more affection and attention at home and a wrist watch over his company. If all attempts fail, approach a young child psychiatrist.
Television, movies, games and comics also play an important role within the psychology of the child. If he watches a lot of brutality, he may tend to act it. Limit the time and kind of programs he watches. Encourage him to watch productive programs suitable to his age. Although I don’t watch television often, recently I happen to be watching some serials and was quite surprised that most of these were centered around scheming women with criminal minds. The greatest thing you want to do is be with your child when watching television. If there is a scene that you simply shouldn’t would like your child to determine, distract him by asking him some question like “is your house work complete” and when he is looking at you, alter the channel. If he insists to watch it, firmly tell him that it is not suitable for his age.